Do you believe in fate/destiny?

I actually do believe in fate or destiny because of the things that have happened to me in my life. When I was in my 20’s I attempted to lead my life the way that other people wanted me to, do what my dad and my husband at the time wanted me to do……but I was not happy. And nothing was going right for me. One day I changed everything, and after that my life made sense.

I married a guy who treated me badly. He used me, didn’t actually care about me or how I felt everything was about him 24/7. He actually told me that I had to drop out of college because if I got a college degree HE would look stupid. He badgered me until I dropped out of college with only a semester left to go. And then there was my dad……..he was just old fashioned and didn’t think that I should be a therapist. My dad said that therapists go crazy like their patients, but I did not think that was true at all. However, I did what my dad said and what my husband said just to keep them off my back. My husband wasn’t happy thought. He was very (and is I’m sure) very narcissistic. He didn’t think that I should be happy and get to have my dream job. He told me that I ruined his race car driving career….the career he actually never had but thought he should have. My ex husband spent all of our money, cheated on me but said I was the one cheating, stole money from me, and once even brought a woman to the house saying that we were getting a divorce. News to me! And in that moment I made that statement true, and I told my ex husband that I was divorcing him. He did not like that at all, and tried to make life hard for me. He tried to say that he was joking about the divorce and that he only brought the woman to the house because she was a co-worker and wanted to see how our house was painted because she wanted to do the same thing to her house. Of course this was a lie, and actually he later on married this woman.

I filed for divorce and got a temporary job at a company just to have additional income so I could get my life back on track. I was so busy trying to survive and repair the damage my now ex husband had caused, and finishing my Bachelor’s degree that I didn’t have time for anything else. Fast forward, I had a co-worker who I had never seen (but he had seen me) but we used to speak on the phone every day about work related issues. My co-worker would ask me little things about my life here and there. Finally after about a year of talking on the phone, my co-worker point blank asked me if I was dating anyone to which I replied: “Aw come on. You know I’m not. I keep telling you about my exciting Saturdays watching movies at home by myself.” My co-worker then tells me that he wants to make a bet with me, and if he wins, he gets to take me out on a date, and if I win I get to go on a date with him. LOL. Ok, so clearly we’re going out. He “won” and we met for dinner that Friday….I thought he was cute when I saw him. We had a great time.

Eventually we got married…..after I checked him out to make sure he was not a narcissist. When we moved in together my now husband found my my diploma for my Bachelor’s degree in psychology. He held it up and as me: “So what’s this? You’re working at this crappy job when you have this degree? What are you planning to do?” Ironically my husband was a civil engineer who had lost his job due to cut backs and had only temporarily taken the job at the company where we met just to make ends meet, and as soon as he was able to he got another job as a civil engineer he did and left the company where we met. We always say we both ended up at those jobs just to meet each other…..fate.

So my husband being the way that he is asked me what I actually want to do with my life, and when I told him, he found universities with Master’s programs for therapists and brought me the information. I applied to 3 of the universities and got into all 3, so I chose my favorite one. I started a Master’s program in marriage and family therapy months later. Once I continued my original path my life became really easy. I got through three years of a Master’s program, and got hired as an intern at a private practice a month after I graduated. I got licensed and started my own private practice which turned out to be very easy, although some would say starting a private practice is not easy…however, I believe it was easy for me because it was what I was supposed to do. And now I have started a blog, and I’m about to start a podcast. Ironically, I randomly met this woman who helps people create podcasts and she wanted to mentor someone for free……and yes, that someone is me.

So, I believe in fate or destiny because every time I tried to do something that didn’t make sense for me, whatever I was doing didn’t work, and life was messy and I struggled. Once I decided to make the changes that I needed to make, and take steps to get my life back on the right track, I met a great guy, became a therapist, started my own business, and now I get to take another step that I have been wanting to take. I believe that if you listen to yourself, and believe in what you want to do, things will be easier, but if you fight destiny and try to force a path that doesn’t work, you are more likely to struggle in life.

What bores you?

I’m not sure much bores me…..but I suppose boring people bore me. Lol. I guess something else that bores me is when someone won’t let something go and they try to force you to change your opinion to their opinion. Yawn. Go away.

Something else that bores me is anyone trying to hype people up about something that shouldn’t be hyped up. I am also bored by people posting tons of selfies and posting minute by minute accounts of their life on social media. Hey look! I painted my toenails. Haha! Show me something interesting.

Bullies on social media bore me. I love it when they come after me, and I respond with: “Is that all you got?” And then they tell me I’m a stupid bitch, to which I respond with a laughing emoji, and they tell me to fuck off. LOL!! Most bullies don’t expect people to be unaffected by what they say. I make them super angry by being unaffected…..and then the bully blocks me. Or am I bullying the bully? Hmmmm.

I am definitely bored by the media and all the BS they try to spew at us. However, I crack up when someone puts a video together of every single news outlet no matter who they are saying the exact same thing. They weren’t prompted or anything were they……..

And I guess more bores me than I realized because I started this post saying I’m not sure much bores me…….depends on your definition of boring I guess.

Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.

My favorite pair of shoes is actually riding boots. I have horses and have ridden my entire life. I ride about 4-5 times a week, and I compete with my horses so my riding boots have taken me to quite a few interesting places.

My current riding boots are kind of cool because they have a leopard print. I like to have fun with the boots I wear so I pick boots that are as snazzy or as interesting as I am allowed to get away with in a show ring.

The riding boots pictured are newish so these particular boots have not taken me many places yet, but the boots they replaced took me all over. My old pair of boots took me to Scottsdale, Arizona a number of times where I competed in something called ranch rinding. I also went to various parts of San Diego and Temecula, as well as Las Vegas a few times for a few competitions. One of the horses I have I bought at the end of July. I bought Max from someone in Iowa, so my riding boots took me to Iowa so I could try Max out and decide if we were a good match, and we were. I didn’t wear my riding boots on the plane though because after they have been ridden in a lot they tend to smell like horses and most people don’t like the smell, so my boots travel with me in a sealed bag. LOL.

Often times after I have ridden my horses I stop at the grocery store to grab something to eat on my way home. I often wonder if my boots stink……no one has ever said anything, but they have actually admired my boots and asked me if I actually ride. And by the way…….I do not step in horse crap with my boots just in case anyone was going to comment about that. The only thing they would potentially smell like is horse, but perhaps not because I do wear chaps when I ride. So I suppose my chaps are what smell like horse because my boots are protected by the chaps, and yes, my chaps stay at the stable.

But yes, my boots take me all over the place. This year I have big horse shows to go to so my boots will be taking me to Arizona, Oklahoma, Northern California, Las Vegas and down south to San Diego and Temecula. They will take me to restaurants to eat at the end of the day, to get coffee and tea. And by the way, I do clean my boots every time I ride, so they are not left full of sweat and dirt. I actually clean them before I leave the stable.

I love my riding boots the best because of what I get to do in them, but I can’t wear them everywhere, and I can’t wear them to my office, so when I wear regular shoes, I like a cute, strappy shoe or a sparkly slip on, and my boots have to stay at home.

Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?

The actual meaning of patriotic is to show support for your country and a sense of attachment. So am I patriotic? Yes I am based on the definition I just provided. However, I feel that the word patriotic is often misunderstood these days, and many people think that being patriotic is something bad, something that only an extremist would be. I am not sure that people take the time to think about words and their actual meanings, and they get caught up in the drama that the media presents to them. Anything to the extreme is bad…….I believe in balance and thinking outside the box, and using critical thinking.

So…..it is not a bad thing to be patriotic. I do love my country, although I admit to being disappointed about a fair number of things happening in this country these days. I am praying that some day peace and harmony is more common, and this division that is present improves dramatically. Wishful thinking I suppose.

Have you ever unintentionally broken the law?

I think that most people have unintentionally broken some law and probably didn’t even know they did it. But if I’m talking about myself, a few years ago I was getting off the freeway to go across this intersection and get back on the freeway so I could avoid the traffic jam that is always there. So I got off the freeway, sat at the light at the intersection, and when the light turned green, drove across the intersection and onto the freeway on-ramp. Only, as I was driving down the on-ramp I noticed a bunch of cars pulled off to the side, and police officers waving people over. At first I thought something bad had happened and they were trying to keep people off the freeway, and I got waved over…….then I realized I had gotten waved over for some other reason because I saw police officers writing tickets. I was thinking WTF did I do??!! So the police officer asks me if I know what I did, and I smiled really big and I told him I honestly did not know. He laughed and told me it was because I drove across the intersection and back onto the freeway when there are clearly signs saying you can only turn left or right. I did argue with him nicely, and I told him that if those signs are there, they are not clear. And then I said: So I suppose you are going to actually write me a ticket? And the cop said that he had to write the ticket because his boss was right over there watching him, but that if I go to court or fight it online, he will ignore the ticket and it will be dismissed. Ok great.

The police officer wrote the ticket and I went on my merry way, but I did turned around and go back to that off ramp and take pictures…..and the signs were definitely not clear at all. In fact, I had never even seen them until that day, and I had to look for them, in addition, one of the signs had a straight arrow. And of course I turned right this time and di not go across the intersection. LOL.

I called my friend who is a police officer and I told him what happened, and asked him what I should say to fight it online. He told me that first of all that is the lamest ticket he has ever heard of, and this is what to say. So I submitted my photos and my description of what happened, and my ticket got dismissed. And……..the city did put up appropriate signage about a month later. But I do wonder how many people just paid that ticket?

If there was a biography about you, what would the title be?

If there were a biography written about me the title would be, “Addicted to Horses and Psychology”. It would be a story about how no matter how many times I tried to pursue other things, I always went back to riding and training horses, but also, becoming a therapist because I love talking to people and helping them figure out what they would like to do with their life, and what changes they would like to make.

What were your parents doing at your age?

At my age my parents were working all the time, just like they always have. At that point in their lives I always wondered why they were still together because they seemed to dislike each other. I had just moved out of their house into my first place, so they turned my room into an office, and my mother moved into one of the other bedrooms. When they weren’t working, they rarely spent time together, and never really spent much time together at any point after I moved out. My mother would hang out at one end of the house, and my father would hang out at the other end, if they were even home at all.

And when I would come over, my parents would pretend they were still sleeping in the same room, but I knew they weren’t. They were driving each other crazy and became unbearable to be around because my mom would criticize my dad and get annoyed that people were talking to him at family events. It was really hard to be around them.

My dad passed away suddenly almost 2 years ago and my mom pretty much acted like she didn’t care, and I had to plan the entire funeral service etc, by myself because my mom wanted no part of it. And my mom is still impossible to be around.

Fortunately my husband and I are definitely NOT like my parents at all. Thank god! My husband and I sometimes talk about my parents and how odd their relationship was. I once found an anniversary card where my mom had written something like: Well, we made it to 30 years. It hasn’t always been easy, but we’re figuring it out. Happy Anniversary! Here’s to many more more!

I just find it odd that she would write something like that when she clearly disliked my dad. And on that particular anniversary she berated my dad and bitched at him in front of all of us………just like she always did.

If you had the power to change one law, what would it be and why?

If I could change one law…..well, how do I even answer that because there are so many things I would want to change. If I have to pick one law, I would change the fact that if you steal $950 and below it’s basically a slap on the wrist. I’m sorry but if you’re going to smash and grab or shop lift, etc, you have a problem that needs to be addressed. So, the law about the amount of theft and how much time someone gets for it (virtually no time presently) is something I would want to change. I think that no bail, and serving at least one month in jail for stealing would be great. Possibly some people would think about it before they took something that didn’t belong to them. Maybe? And just for fun, I think that people who steal should get tazed at the time of their sentencing. LOL. And perhaps sending that person to classes of some kind to get them to change their direction in life would be nice. But of course not everyone wants help, so those that don’t want help would still go back to what they were doing, but possibly a few would change their ways.

Share what you know about the year you were born.

I just realized that I do not know much about what was happening the year that I was born. And no, I am not sharing which year I was born in. LOL. I don’t know about specific events in history. I do know that life was a lot easier the hear that I was born. People still did not always lock their doors, and there were still door to door salesmen (no women sales people yet) A lot of people smoked and Hugh Hefner was at the top of his game. People definitely had more common sense back then, and were kinder.