Everyone should know how to communicate effectively and how to listen. And I don’t mean listen to respond; I mean listen to hear and then see if a response is necessary.

I also believe that people need to learn how to be kind because so many people are no longer kind, and in fact, they are downright mean. People are no longer courteous and just go about their business without thinking about how their actions affect others.

What are you most proud of in your life?

When I was around 12 years old I made the decision that I would either be an equine veterinarian or a psychiatrist. When I graduated from high school I enrolled in college as a pre-vet student, but about mid way through my third year I realized that being a veterinarian was just not what I wanted to be so I changed my major to psychiatry with the intention of being a psychiatrist.

I soon found out that being a psychiatrist was really more about prescribing medication to people and not necessarily about talking to people and helping them work through their issues, so again I changed my major and did indeed become a licensed marriage and family therapist.

But being a therapist is not what I am most proud of…….what I am most proud of is that I opened my own practice after being at a group practice for years, and I opened this practice right when everything shut down because of Covid, and my practice was very successful, most in part because everyone was stuck at home and needed therapy. However, my practice is still thriving just about 5 years later, so what started out as something scary, turned out to be rewarding and successful. And I did not allow anyone to stop me or talk me out of doing what I wanted to do.

I firmly believe that the thoughts and energy you put out into the universe is what you will get back.

What details of your life could you pay more attention to?

I think it’s the smaller things in my life that I need to pay attention to. For some reason I have been so busy that I have not even had the chance to write anything for my blog, and that was something I said I would do at least a few times a week.

I haven’t really taken much time out for me and done things like just watch one of my favorite tv shows. I feel like I am always doing things for everyone else. Although, this past weekend I did ride my horse in a horse show and we did really well, so that is something I did for myself.

I need to start making time again for things like reading for pleasure and listening to the podcasts that I like. I cannot even figure out why things have gotten so out of control lately…….I think it must be that I am working a lot more, and that is my fault because I work for myself. I think I need to take a look at my schedule and create a better balance.

How do you plan your goals?

When planning goals, the first thing that I do is decide what is the main thing that I am trying to accomplish. I either make a mental list or I create a physical list either on paper or in the notes in my phone.

I figure out which goal is the most important one, and I create a timeline for accomplishing that first goal. I even set a time of day to work on goals, as in, I write my goals into my schedule so that way I have a better chance of being successful at accomplishing my goals.

What’s your definition of romantic?

Romance can be many different things, but for me personally romance is not only how someone acts towards me, but also what kinds of gestures they do. I personally like romance and being romantic, but unfortunately my husband is not really a romantic guy, although he does try to be romantic here and there.

Romance is buying your wife or girlfriend flowers randomly. And it does not have to be a giant bouquet that costs a lot of money. The flowers can be simple. It’s the gesture and not the amount of money that you spend.

Romance is randomly coming home with some champagne and strawberries.

Romance is planning a nice dinner for the 2 of you middle of the week.

Romance can be bringing your wife or girlfriend her favorite chocolate, or bringing your husband or boyfriend his favorite snack.

And romance and being romantic is definitely holding hands and touching each other randomly with affection.

What are you most worried about for the future?

Well, I would have to say that I currently have a lot on my plate to worry about. I just found out the place where I keep my 2 horses is raising the board to a crazy amount that I am not going to pay, and really cannot pay, so now I have to move my horses and leave my friends, although there are a number of people leaving too.

I also need to start making some money on the side because I bill clients through insurance and the insurance companies are taking forever to pay us therapists right now, and I have bills to pay. I am trying to figure out the best avenue to start a podcast……or find a format to talk about various topics, form some kind of class……maybe talk about therapist-like things.

I am also worried about the state of things in general…..inflation and all the craziness going on in the world and in the United States alone.

What are your daily habits?

For the past 9 months my house was being renovated so it was pretty hard to keep a routine or habit because things were always changing. You would think that a construction crew would just show up and work, but the crew often had questions about things, or they needed me to not be in a certain part of the house…….but the ironic thing is that I couldn’t really leave the house for long because they the crew had questions. Thankfully I normally spend a lot of time working from home, and when I do go to my office, it’s towards the end of the day and the crew was able to work without needing to ask me things.

Last week my house was finally done, and this past week I have not had anyone but my family in the house. I spent the week trying to get used to not having people in my house all of the time. It took me a few days to remember that in the morning I like to water my plants out by the pool, and put water in the pool. I was able to get back to a regular workout routine. We have a gym in a room behind the garage which was hard to access with all of the work to the house being done, but this week I did get back in the habit of working out at a certain time every day. I remembered what it was like to be able to eat breakfast without having to hurriedly get out of the kitchen so the guys could work on things, and actually, we didn’t even have a kitchen for months…….so we were hiding in a part of the house that was not under construction until the end. I spent a lot of time cooking on my stove in the corner of the living room.

So after months of not being able to really have a routine or daily habits other than my daily habits consisted of being sporadic and unorganized, and fleeing from a construction crew, I am finally able to be normal, and eat a regular breakfast, take the dog for a walk every morning, and start working by 10:00 am. I am able to water my plants, make my tea, and sit in the kitchen and check my email.

How important is spirituality in your life?

Spirituality is very important in my life because without it I feel that my life would not have meaning. Spirituality is not necessarily religion, although it could be. Spirituality for me is what meaning do I have in my life, as well as having meaningful interactions with the people in my life. I want to have purpose and be purposeful.

Which food, when you eat it, instantly transports you to childhood?

I will be honest, I don’t think that there is a food that I eat that currently that transports me to childhood. However, if I ate a Bomb Pop or a Choco Chip ice cream sandwich off an ice cream truck, then I could be transported back to childhood.

Food wasn’t such a great thing for me in childhood because my mother always nit picked me about what I ate, telling me that I was going to get fat. And I have never had a weight problem, but my mother comes from an era where everyone had to be pencil thin, so she constantly starved herself to be pencil thin.

These days I have a healthy relationship with food, and I made sure to never make food an issue with my son.

What jobs have you had?

The first job I had was as an assistant horse trainer. Starting at the age of 16, I gave riding lessons and helped my boss train horses. I was an assistant trainer for about 10 years. I also trained dogs on the side and worked for a few different dog training companies eventually going on my own and training dogs on the side for years.

After that I worked in an office as an administrative assistant for a service company. The idea was to have this job until I completed college and grad school but I was getting promoted and having fun so grad school took a back seat. I worked for a few different companies and my position grew and after a while I was schmoozing clients like Ralph’s Grocery Company, Vons etc.

When I go married (ironically I met my husband because of my job) and my husband and I moved into together he discovered my Bachelor’s degree in psychology and asked me why I was doing what I am doing, and what were my original plans. When I told him I had started out wanting to become a therapist, he asked me why I didn’t pursue that dream. I just shrugged.

My husband got literature from local colleges and showed it to me. I decided to apply to all of the colleges and got into all 4 of them. I chose one of them, got my Master’s Degree, and now I am a licensed therapist and I am self-employed.