Do I Believe in Fate or Destiny…..

I actually do believe in fate or destiny because of the things that have happened to me in my life. When I was in my 20’s I attempted to lead my life the way that other people wanted me to, do what my dad and my husband at the time wanted me to do……but I was not happy. And nothing was going right for me. One day I changed everything, and after that my life made sense.

I married a guy who treated me badly. He used me, didn’t actually care about me or how I felt everything was about him 24/7. He actually told me that I had to drop out of college because if I got a college degree HE would look stupid. He badgered me until I dropped out of college with only a semester left to go. And then there was my dad……..he was just old fashioned and didn’t think that I should be a therapist. My dad said that therapists go crazy like their patients, but I did not think that was true at all. However, I did what my dad said and what my husband said just to keep them off my back. My husband wasn’t happy thought. He was very (and is I’m sure) very narcissistic. He didn’t think that I should be happy and get to have my dream job. He told me that I ruined his race car driving career….the career he actually never had but thought he should have. My ex husband spent all of our money, cheated on me but said I was the one cheating, stole money from me, and once even brought a woman to the house saying that we were getting a divorce. News to me! And in that moment I made that statement true, and I told my ex husband that I was divorcing him. He did not like that at all, and tried to make life hard for me. He tried to say that he was joking about the divorce and that he only brought the woman to the house because she was a co-worker and wanted to see how our house was painted because she wanted to do the same thing to her house. Of course this was a lie, and actually he later on married this woman.

I filed for divorce and got a temporary job at a company just to have additional income so I could get my life back on track. I was so busy trying to survive and repair the damage my now ex husband had caused, and finishing my Bachelor’s degree that I didn’t have time for anything else. Fast forward, I had a co-worker who I had never seen (but he had seen me) but we used to speak on the phone every day about work related issues. My co-worker would ask me little things about my life here and there. Finally after about a year of talking on the phone, my co-worker point blank asked me if I was dating anyone to which I replied: “Aw come on. You know I’m not. I keep telling you about my exciting Saturdays watching movies at home by myself.” My co-worker then tells me that he wants to make a bet with me, and if he wins, he gets to take me out on a date, and if I win I get to go on a date with him. LOL. Ok, so clearly we’re going out. He “won” and we met for dinner that Friday….I thought he was cute when I saw him. We had a great time.

Eventually we got married…..after I checked him out to make sure he was not a narcissist. When we moved in together my now husband found my my diploma for my Bachelor’s degree in psychology. He held it up and as me: “So what’s this? You’re working at this crappy job when you have this degree? What are you planning to do?” Ironically my husband was a civil engineer who had lost his job due to cut backs and had only temporarily taken the job at the company where we met just to make ends meet, and as soon as he was able to he got another job as a civil engineer he did and left the company where we met. We always say we both ended up at those jobs just to meet each other…..fate.

So my husband being the way that he is asked me what I actually want to do with my life, and when I told him, he found universities with Master’s programs for therapists and brought me the information. I applied to 3 of the universities and got into all 3, so I chose my favorite one. I started a Master’s program in marriage and family therapy months later. Once I continued my original path my life became really easy. I got through three years of a Master’s program, and got hired as an intern at a private practice a month after I graduated. I got licensed and started my own private practice which turned out to be very easy, although some would say starting a private practice is not easy…however, I believe it was easy for me because it was what I was supposed to do. And now I have started a blog, and I’m about to start a podcast. Ironically, I randomly met this woman who helps people create podcasts and she wanted to mentor someone for free……and yes, that someone is me.

So, I believe in fate or destiny because every time I tried to do something that didn’t make sense for me, whatever I was doing didn’t work, and life was messy and I struggled. Once I decided to make the changes that I needed to make, and take steps to get my life back on the right track, I met a great guy, became a therapist, started my own business, and now I get to take another step that I have been wanting to take. I believe that if you listen to yourself, and believe in what you want to do, things will be easier, but if you fight destiny and try to force a path that doesn’t work, you are more likely to struggle in life.